4/12/26

I think im aromantic, and this is hard for me for a few reasons. 1 ive wanted to be madly in love with someone since i could even utter the words love. And also my queerness is a huge part of my identity. I attribute alot of who i am to the fact that i am queer, so who am i if im not gay in the traditional sense, who am i if im not inlove. I am plagued by this sense of im not a real person if im not being witnessed and it hits hard with this problem. They twine together hitting me in tandem. Also i have a problem with the word A-romantic im not A anything i dont lack romantic love. I lack a distinction between romantic and platonic love, there are people who exist in this lifetime alongside me that i love more than anyone on this planet. And i love every single person on this planet to a certain level. And yeah there are some romantic things people in relationships have told me that gave me the ick. But i dont know if thats a result of me lacking the ability to feel it back or enjoy feeling it. Or if the person was trying way too hard, which believe me happens all the fucking time. I also seem to be stuck in this loop of not feeling what i think i should be in a relationship and therefor pushing myself out of the relationship even though im relatively happy there. Like everyone talks about all these things you should feel when dating someone and i never feel those things so i shouldnt date this person obviously because there is a “right person” for me that will make me feel all of the magically romantic feelings. Now i dont think im incapable of being in a relationship. I still want to be someones most special person. I still want to have someone that i get to pick first. Im just tired of thinking that my relationship will look the exact same as everyone elses because it more than likely will not AND THATS OKAY. IM TIRED OF BEING TOLD THATS NOT OKAY. i can find someone who will love me for me and will enjoy everything that i have to offer. Which by the way is alot better than burning undying romantic love. Okay thats the rant. I would love to actually write an essay about this like with statistics and facts and claims and a thesis but im lazy and i wrote this on my break at work. Hope everyone is having a good day.